By writing I put order in the world, give it a handle so I can grasp it. -Gloria Anzaldúa
After going through this blog, I realized I need to update stuff. Will get to updating.
I have a ton of drafts waiting to be tweaked but I will post them as they are. This is my personal blog and I reserve the right to be ranty and proofread at my discretion.
You have been warned.
This post was meant to be published in January but never did. Here you go.
5 minutes after looking at his profile, I get this message. 
Rufus and I are grateful to have all of you in our lives. We hope the new year brings us closer to you and we hope that it brings many great things to you and your families.
It’s important that we appreciate him while he’s still alive.
And I’m gonna send a safer-sex kit to the first person to comment on it with the correct answer to the question I ask in the 100th post.
It sounds complicated, but it’s not. If you comment on the 100th post and answer the question, you’ll get some supplies. Promise.
Keep an eye out and be excited because I’m finishing up a bunch of posts that are in my drafts.
Squee!!
I make mini-zines about people I like that I think my nephews should know about. It’s kind of a way to start their politicization. I’ve done min-zines about Emma Tenayuca, Dolores Huerta and Cesar Chavez. I mainly focused on Chicanos because that is my main area of study and research, but I’m looking to branch out.
I’m posting this because I want to get other people to make them. I hate the TX SBOE and I want to have more kid-friendly materials available for my rebel rousing–> two birds, one stone. I’m gonna dig around my old stuff from college to find a copy.
Anyways, let me know if you’re interested. I want to post them here so they can be available for everyone.
Excited? I am.
I promise it looks better than this paint drawing.
In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, the Texas State Board of Education (SBOE) passed a resolution to ban textbooks that have a “pro-Islamic stance.” This is some major fuckery, y’all. This is indoctrination.
A few months ago, the TX SBOE decided to edit the history books by taking out information about Cesar Chavez, the civil rights movements of the 60s and 70s and other references to other social justice leaders and movement history, because, you know there was already a lot of that in the textbooks already. Their reasoning was that it was going to make students of Color resentful of White people.
::side eye::
Muthafucka, White supremacy makes People of Color resentful of White people. Don’t be racist. Don’t perpetuate systemic oppression. That’s the solution to your fear of resentment.
I’ll show you my gratefulness with a baseball bat to your knees.
Fuck the Texas State Board of Education.
I’m tired of being the rock.
I’m tired of wondering if I said something right.
I’m tired of being someone’s experience.
I’m tired of being the better person.
I’m tired of covering up how I really feel.
I’m tired of not being able to cry in front of people.
I’m tired of always pretending to be happy when I’m not.
I’m tired of the bull shit.
I’m tired of trifling assholes.
I’m tired of cleaning up the messes.
I’m tired of having to validate myself.
I’m tired of being ignored.
I’m just tired of it.
I am.
I’m in a weird coming-of-age stage right now. I suppose this is the time in my life where I become jaded and cynical about everyone, particularly romantic relationships.
Empty womb. Empty bed. Empty table. Empty couch.
I didn’t realize that it was that hard to find someone who is honest, thoughtful, and self-sufficient. What happened to that? What happened to being real about your feelings? I know I’m not one to talk, but I think that at least I try. At least I don’t front when I don’t have to, but sometimes it feels like I have to in order to save face. Or, to make sure that trifling doesn’t take advantage of it.
Why must I have to live(love) like that? I don’t know.
I don’t.
All I know is that I tried. No matter what happens, I tried.
